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- Werke von August Freiherr von Seckendorff (German Edition).
- Help! I Resent My Husband’s Long Work Hours.
- Asmodis - Die Rückkehr (Horror-Roman) (German Edition)?
- The Easter Egg Parade : (From the Amanda’s Cats Series);
God can act as a husband by providing for, protecting, and cherishing His daughter-in-waiting. And I think it is perfectly fine to let God be God in our lives, while we trust Him for our future mate. However, where I have problems with this is when this concept becomes inextricably linked to me landing a future husband.
Help! I Resent My Husband’s Long Work Hours
The assumption goes like this: If you will really and truly learn to make God your spiritual husband, then God will bring that earthly husband into your life. Yes, God is a jealous God. Yes, He wants His daughters to place complete faith in Him. He might even desire that you find security and worth in Him before He brings that spouse.
That is valid. Please, if you are tempted to give this kind of advice, think before you speak. You could be crushing the spirit of your fellow friend in Christ by saying such a blanket statement. The single woman wonders, How do I know if I have truly made God my husband? How many years must God play that role in my life before He brings the earthly version?
How perfectly must I love God in this type of relationship before I pass the test? And, secondarily, has the advice giver walked the talk and done the same? I had a woman tell me this while I stood in a prayer line at church.
Perhaps I was still holding on. Maybe I was making an idol of marriage and needed to lay that down. But how can someone else know your heart? And what right does that person have to question your relationship with the Lord? When that married woman was waiting for her future spouse, did she truly make God her husband? Some would be lying if they told you yes, so be careful when you hear this advice. How many times have you heard this one, ladies?
I have personally lost count. It is true that when you get busy having your own life, you can open yourself up to many possibilities, including relationship. So how is that going to help you? Let me offer a counter-argument that turns this whole philosophy on its head. Consider Ruth in the Bible. In fact, she looked, she saw, and she pursued — and that was biblical!
A Man of Your Word
Boaz became her husband partly because she was bold enough to do as the Lord had asked and go to the man who would become her future husband. Oh, right.
That way I will be able to recognize those qualities in the flesh when that man shows up. Somehow God is dependent on me. But this is putting the cart before the horse. The second assumption is that we have to know ourselves super, super well, as if that somehow is the key to unlocking our future. Correct me if I am wrong, but God wants us to focus on Him above ourselves. Deep inside, I always wondered if it would come to this.
Dan and I grew up on neighboring farms. We went to Sunday school together. Just as naturally, that changed in our teens. He was easy to be with.
But I knew that despite his solid upbringing, he had a bit of a wild streak. And I admit, I liked that a little bit too. It would give me something to work on. He certainly knew what beer tasted like. That was true of most of the young guys around here. I wrote it off as youthful indiscretion. By the time our courtship began in earnest, I was certain that, for Dan, drinking was a passing thing. Supporting a growing family put a lot of pressure on Dan. He started to hit the bar with a few buddies on Friday nights. He knew how I felt about it—not good, to say the least—but he said it gave him an outlet.
That hurt. No one would ever peg him for a drunk. He could go for days on sheer willpower, without touching the stuff, toughing it out on his own.
Help! I Resent My Husband’s Long Work Hours
In all other ways, Dan was a devoted, loving husband and a great dad. But as soon as the stress kicked in, he was back on a barstool. And I would go back to making excuses for him. I laid down the law. No alcohol was ever to enter our house, and the kids would never know of any of this. For my part, I went to work on God. Every day I prayed for a miracle. Did I take any other action?
What Not to Tell a Single Woman
Sometimes, in my desperation, I wanted to talk to someone. Anyone who might understand. It must have been in the early eighties when Dan crashed into a tree and totaled our truck, driving drunk. His drinking had progressed beyond just Friday nights. Yes, there was Dan the remorseful husband determined to reform. But then there was Dan the drinker, who I feared might never change, no matter what I did. So I decided to just hunker down and make sure no one ever found out.
There was no point in going on with this charade.